Hardest Trick in the World

"To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities." - His Holiness the Dalai Lama


This is something I could work at my entire life and still not get it right most of the time.  I practice, I do.  His words are a good reminder for me, especially now.  I have been finding myself pointing out others' shortcomings when it's none of my business.  

What You See is What You Get

I think this is due for a re-post.  Originally posted March 2006 on this blog.

If you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so  that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted with pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days.  It's that simple.  What you see is what you get.

Annie Dillard

Sac-o-tomatoes

A month from now I will be living in Sacramento, California, so I decided to do some research.  Found a great website with interesting Sac facts.  I have family who have been in Sacramento for 25 years, so I know it, somewhat.  I do know that the summers are bloody, stinking hot.  Hot, hot, I'm telling you.  (Keep repeating: "I'll adjust, I'll adjust".)  Summer evenings when the breeze blows in from the river, it's heavenly.  I'll have to remember that.

I have family who have lived in the Sierra foothills 40 miles from Sacramento for generations, so I remember when Sacramento was quite the provincial town.  (Heck, I remember the city of San Jose as a farming town, a town surrounded by fruit orchards.)  Sacramento has grown up over the past 30 years, has it's own gay district which has seen controversial culture clashes.  Located roughly around 20th and K streets, 'the heights' will be a distance from my eventual locale: T Street between 20th and 21st.  By the looks of it, the trolley runs parallel to 20th Street, giving me a straight shot (no pun intended) to my very own lavender landing.  Hmmm...that sounds like a good book title.  I claim it first!  Lavender Landing by TaraDharma.


In the great whoosh of life, I am being swiftly guided to the role of family care-giver for my parents, primarily my mother.  Last year I actually was hired by a home health care company and trained as a home care-giver.  Funny, that.

Sacramento will be the largest city I have ever lived in.  I'll be living near public transit, restaurants, museums, parks, and hopefully day spas.  I have friends in Sacramento that I've met while blogging (and in real life!), friends in nearby towns, and an hour or so away from two great wine regions both west and east of the city.  And still, a 90 mile drive from my beloved San Francisco.  Just like now.

Life. Just. Might. Be. Good.

Real. Good.

Being Awake

“Go to the pine if you want to learn about the pine, or to the bamboo if you want to learn about the bamboo. And in doing so, you must leave your subjective preoccupation with yourself... However well phrased your poetry may be, if your feeling is not natural – if the object and yourself are separate – then your poetry is not true poetry but your subjective counterfeit.”

~Basho

This lovely Basho quote comes in the book pay attention: a river of stones edited by Fiona Robyn & Kaspalita.  Their effort began on the internet, on the site a river of stones.

The book is now available in paperback and hard cover, and is a delight to read.  Many people across the globe contributed their 'small stone' writing pieces, yours truly included.  It is a marvel to see how people observe the world when they are paying attention.  It reminds me of the wooden bell at Tassajara Zen Retreat that says, "Wake Up!"  When I first laid eyes upon that sign I thought, "Whoa.  That's a mouthful.  A mindful."  And then, "Are you talkin' to me?" in my most uncanny imitation of Travis Bickle.

Wake up?  Me?

Tomatoey

photo from the link above

Make mine a tomato on dill tomato bread

with oodles of tomato aioli

finished with a torrent of arugula --

and don't forget the salt and pepper.

I know. More tomato poetry. What's a girl to do? One day it's disappointment, the next it's an orgiastic vegetable experience. My spirit rises and falls on the most disparate details of life.

Buddhist Blessing

For Roger, for Eric, for me and for you....

Just as the soft rains fill the streams,

pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,

so may the power of every moment of your goodness

flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,

Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.

By the power of every moment of your goodness

May your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled

as completely shining as the bright full moon,

as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.

By the power of every moment of your goodness

May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.

May no obstacle come across your way.

May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.

For all in whose heart dwells respect,

who follow the wisdom and compassion of the Way,

May your life prosper in the four blessings

of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.

How Dry I Am

I've got

nothing

to say.

That's

even saying

too much.

The (Special) Olympics of My Mind

I'm putting myself into practice, sitting zazen at Ocean Gate. The two teachers there are delightful, and the sitting has been actually restful. Over the years, I've practiced meditation, and have always wound up frustrated because it was so hard. Yes, difficult. (will my mind ever shut the fuck up?) Daijaku and Shinshu are quite aware of this, and the answer is "just sit." Be present. Wake Up!

I've surprised myself at how still, calm, and present I can be. When the wall in front of me fades away and my being dissolves. Then a truck rumbles by on the road and I am pulled back in to distraction, then take a deep breath and say to myself, "just sit." Now, I don't pretend to think this is how it will always be. I know it won't. It's just lovely when it is.

Listening to the dharma talk last night was a mind twister: I feel as if I'm back in 3rd year lit classes trying to interpret Virginia Woolf or W.B. Yeats. How can I speak and discuss the lecture when my mind is reeling from the input? I learned, in lit class, that the only way to begin the interpretation was...to begin. And so it must be the way with these talks. But I'm shy, I don't want to reveal my incoherent self. I walked away last night, agitated. Though I might chalk that up to my general state of agitation lately, the lecture and following discussions tipped the scales.

So, why practice? I'm a farmer, cultivating her fields, nuturing up the seeds that are already in the ground. These tender kernels need water, food, sun and air. Remember those time-lapsed films of seeds sprouting? That's me.

But...what kind of seed am I?

Basin Complex Fire Burns through the Zen Center

Zen art, by cameradawktor

Go to the link and read the stunning account of how the fire came through the center. Most buildings were saved due to diligent planning and hard labor. Some of the structures are gone and pool area is a mess. I can't image the heat that the five people who stayed had to endure. Even if you have never been to this oasis, the account of the fire will make your heart pound.

"Gratitude courses through this valley and our veins, for we and our community are well and safe, supported in a thousand ways known and unknown by the generosity and efforts of so many beings, so many bodhisattvas, so many Buddhas. And finally, deep bows to the fire, whose undeniable dharma teaching of impermanence has earned our awed respect and attention."

--David Zimmerman, Tassajara Director

Everything Changes

Fire near Tassajara, Los Padres National Forest, California.

"Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine.

Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer."  (italics mine)

Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

California: We're On Fire

Photos by Dana.

We had our summer trip to Tassajara just in time. They are now evacuated. You can read more about it at Sitting With Fire. Funnily enough, I received an invitation in the mail last week from the San Francisco Zen Center to join them at a planning meeting to expand the facilities at Tassajara Mountain Zen Center. My immediate reaction was, "Don't expand it! It's already getting too big!" Well, let us hope that it doesn't require rebuilding. It has survived many close calls before, the fire departments work hard to keep the center out of harm's way.

On a happier note, check here to see the increases in marriage licenses per county in California since the CA Supreme Court ruling. It's fun to see where all the fun is happening! Now, that's hot.

The Way of Life

I can't help but wonder what happens when so many souls leave the planet all at once, so quickly. What happens in the cosmos? The heavens? The collective unconscious? Burma, Oklahoma/Mo, China...gone with the man in the long black coat.

Prayers and Blessings

One of my aunts sent a lovely Christian prayer out to our family, as we deal with a family trajedy that struck many weeks ago. Her intention was pure and loving, and yet I couldn't relate to the Jesus invocation, so I wrote back, thanking her for her prayer, and sending her one that is meaningful to me:

the way of the bodhshisattva

For as long as space endures

And for as long as living beings remain

Until then may I too abide

To dispel the misery of the world.

-shantideva

Another aunt wrote back, "Thank you for reminding us." I think her response is exquisite in its simplicity.

Validation. Communication. Acceptance. Wonderful things. Blessings.

Leonard Cohen - Anthem - Nature

This song breaks my heart...and uplifts it at the same time. " There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

Some heartbreaking shit going on in my extended family, and the key (last night) was to bbq a steak, talk with my sister, and watch Cohen's "I'm Your Man" again.

Peace.

Breathe

"In Zen, the effort and the result are not two different things, the means and the goal are not to be separated, the finding occurs in the very seeking itself.  For ultimately, what is sought is the wholeness of the seeker, and this emerges only in the wholeheartedness of the seeking."

Bernard Phillips