We're Everywhere -- And so are They

Yesterday I was across the street introducing myself to the new neighbor.  Their official move-in date is Friday, but she had some friends helping her move her many many plants.  They came around the corner, all toothy grins except there were some actual teeth missing from one of their mouths.  They seemed like 'good old boys' and confirmed it moments later when they commented on my Toyota Prius in the garage.  "Ya know what those are called?" the toothless one cackled.  "GAY CARS!"  "YEAH," said the other, you know, POOFTER cars! That's what they call gays in England!" Hahahahahahahahaha.  I was dumbstruck.  Did they notice my gay bumper sticker and so were being hateful on purpose, or were they just being dumb fucks?

Even dad said I should have said, "Well, I'm gay so that fits." And walked away.  Instead, my mind was reeling at the surreal scene before me.  I laughed weakly and went back inside. 

Shit. 

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Just wait until they find out they moved in next door to poofters and across the street from still more poofters.  I need to buy a giant rainbow flag to hang from the balcony for the whole month of June.

Assholes.

Same Sex Marriage and Divorce

I'm so excited that the Supremes are going to be hearing two cases on same-sex unions in this country.  The outcome of these cases could be earth-shattering, no matter the decision.  Some are going to cheer it, others will swear the sky is falling.

Today I take a 3 hour drive south to meet with my soon to be ex and an attorney who will mediate our divorce.  Not only do we need to get the divorce dissolved, but the domestic partnership as well.  Two birds with one stone.

When I see pictures of all the happy couples in Washington State who have tied the knot, I send out a little prayer for them.  We are no more lucky than straight couples in the marriage arena.  And our dating pool is much, much smaller.

I know many couples (of the same sex) who have been married for decades (or at least together as a couple).  Did they just find the right person?  What is their secret?  I really want to know.  This elusive life-long coupling has escaped me.  It was the same with my first marriage -- to a man.  So, it's not a gender thing, it's a human thing.

I just don't get it, apparently.

I Heart New York

So, by now you've heard the news, right?  New York legislature has legalized same sex marriage and the Governor has signed on, saying, "This vote today will send a message across the country. This is the way to go, the time to do it is now, and it is achievable; it's no longer a dream or an aspiration. I think you're going to see a rapid evolution."   Right on, Gov.


So why is California taking so damned long?  Will we be the 7th state or the 10th, 11th or 30th?  Those damned fools are dragging the Prop. 8 vote through the courts in California, and are harrassing the legal system with bogus claims that the judge finding against Prop. 8 was biased.  There are no more excuses for denying marriage rights to same-sex couples.


In California, the legality is even more complicated:  I am a legally married person in California.  A same-sex marriage.  (My impending divorce notwithstanding.)  So, I have rights and obligations because my wife and I signed a piece of legal documentation during a window of time where liberty was being honored?  So. Not. Fair.  So. Not. Legal.


And let's not forget, that, until same-sex marriage rights are federally recognized, marriage inequality in the United States exists.  While I get excited about individual state's actions, it is disappointing that we have this legal divide in our nation of  "liberty and justice for all."

Sacramento Pride Parade and Festival

I'm pulling the morning shift at the Volunteer Check-In station.  Chanting for sunshine...it's been raining here off and on for weeks.  I love that my birthday is in June, along with all the gay pride events.  Kind of turns my special day into a special month for me!

Sac-o-tomatoes

A month from now I will be living in Sacramento, California, so I decided to do some research.  Found a great website with interesting Sac facts.  I have family who have been in Sacramento for 25 years, so I know it, somewhat.  I do know that the summers are bloody, stinking hot.  Hot, hot, I'm telling you.  (Keep repeating: "I'll adjust, I'll adjust".)  Summer evenings when the breeze blows in from the river, it's heavenly.  I'll have to remember that.

I have family who have lived in the Sierra foothills 40 miles from Sacramento for generations, so I remember when Sacramento was quite the provincial town.  (Heck, I remember the city of San Jose as a farming town, a town surrounded by fruit orchards.)  Sacramento has grown up over the past 30 years, has it's own gay district which has seen controversial culture clashes.  Located roughly around 20th and K streets, 'the heights' will be a distance from my eventual locale: T Street between 20th and 21st.  By the looks of it, the trolley runs parallel to 20th Street, giving me a straight shot (no pun intended) to my very own lavender landing.  Hmmm...that sounds like a good book title.  I claim it first!  Lavender Landing by TaraDharma.


In the great whoosh of life, I am being swiftly guided to the role of family care-giver for my parents, primarily my mother.  Last year I actually was hired by a home health care company and trained as a home care-giver.  Funny, that.

Sacramento will be the largest city I have ever lived in.  I'll be living near public transit, restaurants, museums, parks, and hopefully day spas.  I have friends in Sacramento that I've met while blogging (and in real life!), friends in nearby towns, and an hour or so away from two great wine regions both west and east of the city.  And still, a 90 mile drive from my beloved San Francisco.  Just like now.

Life. Just. Might. Be. Good.

Real. Good.

Sunday Kind of Love

Our first wedding took place in San Francisco during the "Winter of Love."  Our second wedding took place 2 years ago here in our hometown.  Love is complicated, and when you're gay or lesbian in this country, it's even more complicated.  We have a family, we've been the subject of newspaper articles and t.v. news across the nation.  My dad opened his San Diego Union on a fine February morning to see his daughter's name in an article on gay marriage.  We did dodge the reality show bullet, whew.

Imagine getting married and then having the state declare it null and void!  That happened after our first marriage.  With our second marriage, we are in legal limbo -- recognized by the state while our LGBT citizens who didn't get married during that brief time when it was legal, are now locked out of the option.  And while the state recognizes our legal contract, the federal government does not.  Should one of us die, the other is not eligible to collect our deceased spouse's social security benefit.  The California ruling should go to the Supremes and we should get equal rights once and for all time.

But enough of the harsh realities of our legal system -- today we celebrate our second, second anniversary!  It's only love, after all.

Chris Wallace gets Schooled

Gay Pride Month

Link here. I'm taking up Kelly's challenge to post this on my blog, thanks Karen. Do you know what I thought his challenge was going to be? To hang a rainbow flag outside my house. And it filled me with dread. Hmmm...I guess I'm not as okay with being out as I thought. Powerful lesson.

Love Me Some Marriage Equality Ads

See this link for more Prop 8 funny....

Let's Have A Good Laugh

WTF?!?!?

Holy Cow. Link on the post title for our local t.v. report on the CA supreme court ruling. Time, once again, to roll up our sleeves.

Dis is Crazy!

How many excellent soldiers have to get booted from their jobs before congress puts a stop to "Don't Ask Don't Tell." It's a NUTSO policy.

Sour Grapes

Oh please, can't these people just accept the legislation and stop making fools of themselves? Where DO they come up with these arguments?

Gaythering Storm

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

and now for the funny

So, remember when I said, in my video, that Obama tackles the tough issues? Well, in this hilarious old clip of the Daily Show, he even says, "I'm willing to talk about these issues, even when they are difficult." PROVE IT tough guy.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
The Most Immature Montage Ever
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Vermont Legalizes Marriage

Well, this just makes my day.  My hat's off to the legislature of the Great State of Vermont.

Iowa Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Marriage Equality

A great day! A complete surprise! My heart soars today.

Yes, Christians Can be my Friends

"As Catholics, we differentiate between sacramental marriage and civil marriage; and our Church has long done so. We therefore can clearly perceive that same-gender civil marriages pose no threat to our Church."

I found the Catholic Statement on the Freedom to Marry in California on a facebook site, "Christians for Marriage Equality." While not a Christian myself, I appreciate it when communities of faith come forward in support of civil rights and non-discrimination. There is another good link off this page about the bible and homosexuality. I found it very informative, and whle I'll never remember the references, it's good to know there are smart scholars out their to refute the homophobes.

I'm still riding high on my dad's epiphany regarding my civil rights as a married lesbian. The personal is political and vise versa. I'm not an abstract concept, I'm somebody's wife, daughter, mother, niece and friend. Like Harvey MIlk said, "I'm here to recruit you!"

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Thanks to Lori for this link. I watched it and loved it, and then went to You Tube in order to send it to some family members. What horrified me were the comments I read on You Tube. I must be living in another world. Not some place where these poor ignorant souls reside...

"Homosexuals are not happy unless everyone celebrates their sickness. It is manifest to any person that they are trying to use the state as a hammer on those who do not believe as they do. Typical "liberal" mentality."

"Is this shit for real? ROTFLMAOLOL!"

"LOL Man no more! What a fucking freak show this is. These are real commercials running on television? Whats next two transtesticles with kids?"

Wow...but enough of those hateful bigots...watch and enjoy the positive messages of love and family.

Have They No Shame?

Got turned on to this video at Nailing Jello to the Wall. Thanks PookeyShoehorn. It is great -- "connubial narks" is a great line!