Wearing Red

What a week this is going to be!  Will justice prevail?  Stay tuned.....

A Really Good Date

1981 Taradarma/black & white infrared film

Last night was the opening for a photography exhibit at the gallery where I am a member.  It was the annual Members Show, where any member could submit one photo to be included.  I let my dad pick this picture, which is one of his favorites of mine.  He likes it because it's a photo of him and my sister walking on the beach -- but also because it is mysterious and tells what could be a rather dark story.  Who are the people walking on the sand?  Why is that man following her?

The show was well attended and the range of work was impressive.  I went with L. and she is well-versed in the visual arts and photography in particular.  She asked me what were my favorite prints, and then why.  It's been a long while since I've critiqued beyond saying, "Because I like it."  It was a good exercise for me, answering L.'s questions.  And then I asked the same of her, and she showed me and talked about the work.

Later we had tapas at a restaurant just down the block from the gallery.  I have never had tapas before, if you can believe it.  I didn't know what I was doing -- the menu and the wine and the manner of presentation all foreign to me.  I muddled through and ordered in my very flat Spanish accent, and when the waitress read back our order, L. and I looked at each other and she said, "Well, she certainly pronounced things much differently."  Well, yes, with flare and certain knowledge.

Later, at her house, we sat on the patio drinking port and discussed a wide range of topics.  One of the more in-depth topics was racism in this country, and our perspective (or lack thereof) as white people.  It feels extremely awkward for me, at times, to talk about racism because what the heck do I know?  I can only speak of it with the awareness of an outsider.  Words get so in the way, and misinterpretations are easy - generalizations will do that.  So I got specific and talked about my report on Frederick Douglass when I was in 5th grade; how I admired him and his accomplishments.  I recalled what an eye-opener The Autobiography of Malcolm X was to me in my teens.  I told her he was my hero.  She she said he was also her hero.  Ah, accord. 

Late at night, curled up next to her with the cool Delta breeze blowing the curtains, I reflected on how extraordinary she is: a thoughtful, wickedly smart introvert with a healthy balanced love of conversation and friends.

In the morning, she told me she had so much fun last night.  She said, "You are a really good date!" A high compliment, especially since I know I am much more than just a date for her.

Do you remember a particularly good 'date'?  What made it so special?  How long has it been since you've been on a date?   I suggest you go on one ASAP.  And make it good.

"I am SUCH a Troublemaker!"

Diana Coe is now garnering headlines in North Carolina.  Her story is that she was just selected for Jury Duty and is protesting that civil duty because her civil rights were stripped from her and her husband by Amendment 1 in NC.  "As a lesbian, I am no longer considered a full citizen of the state of North Carolina due to the recent passage of Amendment One and therefore I decline to fulfill my civic duties until my civil rights have been restored to me in full."  It is a great story, one that Lori Hahn writes about at the Bilerico Project.

This piece was pulled from Equality North Carolina:

The Marriage of Diana Coe and Li Hooper

Diana and Li grew up barely 30 minutes from each other here in North Carolina, yet they didn't cross paths until Li transferred to college in Philadelphia where Diana was wo-manning the front desk as a resident assistant registering new students. That was in September of 1984. Diana was immediately smitten and the two embarked on an on again-off again relationship that lasted until Diana graduated in 1987 and moved on to New York. By that time, Li had returned to North Carolina and they kept in touch infrequently over the years. In September of 2009, following a bad break-up, Diana had the irresistable urge to contact Li. The first thing Li said to her was "When are you going to stop all of this nonsense and move down here and marry me?" Diana replied, "Well, anything can happen, I am single now."
While still a bit gun-shy, Diana consented to dating and the two embarked on a long-distance relationship (Diana was now living 900 miles away in Massachusetts, where they could have, ironically, gotten legally married had they decided to live away from their respective families) in December of that year. In July of 2010, Li flew up to pack Diana's belongings, load up the U-Haul, and move her and her then 9-year-old son, to Winston Salem.
While family circumstances mean that they live two miles from each other in their own homes, Li and Diana have, nonetheless, decided to join their lives in a joyous celebration of their love on October 1, 2011. They will be surrounded by more than 100 of their dearest family and friends, more than half of whom are traveling from all across the country. Diana works at the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro and is proud activist for marriage equality and transgender rights. Li is hard at work starting a non-profit organization to provide direct services and advocacy to the GLBT community in Winston Salem and the surrounding areas. She hopes to launch GRASP (Gender Revisioning and Sexuality Pathways) after returning from their weeklong honeymoon in Sedona, Arizona. They pray that someday soon they will be able to legalize their marriage in a civil ceremony and eventually join their households. In the meantime, they welcome donations to Equality NC in their honor.
You can view their wedding website and read more of their amazing journey at www.theknot.com/ourwedding/DianaCoe&LisaHooper