NVC

If you're my family you may not want to read this.  Because I'm just gonna say it: my family can confound me no end sometimes.  There are times when I feel I've stepped into the middle of somebody else's shit storm, quite by surprise, and big emotions arise, assumptions are made, communication is lacking.  I had an opportunity to practice some of the skills I learned in my NVC workshop: listening with empathy.  Oh sure, my defenses were up too, because I felt hurt.  That's what makes listening with empathy so difficult.  You're busy bolstering your story so you can defend yourself.  But it really did help.  It got me off of telling my 'story' and just listening to what the other person had to say and really hearing them.  Doesn't mean I agree with them; it's not about that.  It's not about right and wrong.  It's about really seeing and hearing someone if they need to communicate to you.  You know, to validate someone's experience just like I want my experiences and feelings heard and validated, not brushed aside.

I see how this was a perfect opportunity for honest communication, and we were both willing to engage in that.  That's a step forward, that's right action, and I can dig that no end.