I dreamed of Kali, who is usually portrayed as a dark goddess of destruction, but who is also interpreted to be a loving mother. Post-dream I read up on her and learned that she is a very positive force in the universe, spreading wisdom and striking down ignorance.
"The goddess of destruction has begun her dance in our life to tell us
that it is time to face our fears. Without losing the "fear of Kali"
we cannot think of achieving her. Fear is actually the manifestation of the
self-focused ego. When we lose fear we overcome the baggage and restrictive
structures of our self-focused ego. Once this happen, then all that lurks
ominously, either buried deep in our unconscious mind or close by in our
external environment can be stared in the eye and brought into the light of
consciousness. By doing this we lose the fear of the dark forces and the limitations
set by the self-focused ego. We start speaking the undeniable truth and we
start living the real life represented by our inner self."
~ Karishma
J. Anand
The entire dream was about losing my fear and limitations that my self-focused ego has held on tight to for so long. The evening's vision was filled with loss: homes burning, people dying, people leaving me, me leaving me. At one point, my frantic fight to gather up the basic utensils of life at a thrift store: bowls, pots, spoons, fabric. I couldn't hold all I wanted in my arms, and inevitably everything would fall to the floor in a clattering shattering mess. People from my life would float in and out, and we would talk about life, love, and loss. One long-ago friend offered to loan me, interest free, all the money I could ever want: money to buy my freedom, money to live my life however I chose. I couldn't believe her generosity. The evening before she was to give me the money, her house burned down with everything in it -- including all the money I could want. Burnt to ashes. Her life, her things, my hope for the future of my life -- gone up in spectacular flames.
So much of the dream was a kaleidoscope of color and noise - a rushing tunnel through which I was sucked and spun, completely helpless to direct myself.
In one scene I was sitting on a porch with a couple of friends, looking out over a deer filled green meadow -- a paradise of trees and water, fowl and mammals. I could stay here forever, I thought. This is where I want to spend my days.
In a whoosh I was sucked back into the vortex only to come into the body of an ancient guru who was dying amongst his people. He was covered with flowers, and had a serene yet exuberant smile on his face. I became him in his dying, and was lifted by thousands who ran through the street carrying our body. Now, here's a real subversive part of the dream: here I was this ancient wise man in death, reaching out to the crowd and fondling everyone I could! I was touching chests, nipples, penises and vulvae in a race to bring each person to ecstasy as I was being carried along. People were having their la petite mort as I was having the big one.
End of scene.
Drugs? The Divine? Who Cares?
