How do you know when you've come to the end of something? When are you supposed to tough it out, suck it up, give it your best stiff upper lip? When are you supposed to heed the calling, the screaming, the fist-banging of your inner voice?
I am about to work out a retirement agreement with my employer of 22 years. It's not a full pension, but I don't want to work there for the next 8 years to get the full retirement. I realized this when I told people I had to serve 8 more years - like a prison sentence.
The wife and I have had many conversations about scaling back, simplifying, spending less money. All so that I can leave my soulless job behind. Her support of my needs overwhelms me, and humbles me. I have committed to being a house Frau for awhile, a part-time college student for awhile. The family's Girl Friday, indispensable and uber organized. See where life takes me. See where I take my life.
I'm over the scared part, for now. I'm sure I'll get real freaked out after the fact, "OMG what have I done?!" "In THIS economy?!" I've been holding this news close for a few weeks now, just in case something happens and I regain my sanity and change my mind. I have two more months on the job...won't that be a challenge? Here's to new beginnings and change!
Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Shunryu Suzuki: Study Yourself
The purpose of studying Buddhism is not to study Buddhism. It is to study ourselves.
